This devotional will focus on redeeming the time in light of our conflicts with others. At first, this may seem like an odd addition to a devotional series on redeeming the time. However, we need to realize that having ongoing conflict with others—where we do not repent or forgive when we need to—taints our time with sin. The more time that goes on, the longer our works are tainted. Jesus said in Matthew 5:21-24,
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
The anger or bitterness that we feel against someone who has wronged us grows when it has not been dealt with. Notice also in this passage that the man’s sacrifice was not acceptable to God until he got right with his brother. Both the offended and the offender have a role to play, and both can taint the time and good works that we are offering to God.
So, how much of our time dedicated to the Lord is stained by a conflict that (1) we refuse to repent of, or (2) refuse to forgive? Sometimes these things can go on for years. However, what, exactly, is forgiveness? Forgiveness is cancelling the debt. When someone sins against us, then they owe us a debt. We cannot forgive another unless they first ask for forgiveness of the debt. This is why it is important to go to those whose sins we cannot overlook and forbear, or cover over with love. Ultimately, between believers, the cancelled debt is put onto the cross and forgiven. This is why we can have the expectation that, if a person is saved, then they will be willing to reconcile, and thus seek forgiveness or forgive. What is repentance? Repentance is a change of heart that also results in a change of conduct: a turning away from sin. A person may seek our forgiveness and repent, even multiple times in a day. In every case, we are to forgive them (Matt. 18:21-22). However, when a person refuses to forgive or seek forgiveness, then that debt is not cancelled, but is counted against the one refusing to do so. It moves into the category of God’s revenge. God said, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Rom. 12:19). Because of this, we are never to take matters into our own hands. We thus have two choices: (1) forgive/seek-forgiveness or (2) leave it to God to avenge. Each is determined in its own course. Regarding a lack of forgiveness, the Bible says, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14-15). Again, all of our time will become profane in light of unrepentant sin or a lack of forgiveness, until the day that we repent and seek a right relationship with the other party. When we refuse to forgive or seek forgiveness, then we ultimately become the recipients of God’s wrath. If we are saved, then we will ultimately forgive when asked and seek forgiveness from others when it would be right to do so. We will not remain forever in a state of refusing to forgive or refusing to ask for forgiveness when needed.
Paul said, “do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26b). This refers to allowing anger or bitterness to grow in us regarding someone. Here is the process for reconciliation: For fellow believers, if we cannot forbear them, and overlook the offense (cover over it in love, as in 1 Cor. 13), then we will need to lovingly go to the person and ask for forgiveness (for our sin) or seek for them to repent and seek forgiveness from you (or both, in some cases). If they repent, then we can forgive them (and not before), cancelling the debt by placing it on the cross. If they refuse to be reconciled, then two or three witnesses go to the person. If still not, then it is brought before the church. If they still will not repent, then they are to be treated as an unbeliever. That is the process laid out for us in Matthew 18:15-17. In many cases, believers will want to either ask for forgiveness or are willing to forgive. Lovingly going to others to ask for forgiveness, or to call them to repent, is something that furthers the unity of the church, and so redeems the time. See how Paul urged fellow-believers to reconcile: “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life” (Phil. 4:2-3). The expectation is that, if they are believers, then they will ultimately forgive and be forgiven. In most cases, they can become fully reconciled.
So, we ought to examine our hearts and see if we are holding bitterness towards someone, or if there is some anger, resentment, or hatred. If so, and especially between believers, then we need to seek reconciliation. If they refuse to forgive or seek forgiveness, then we give them to God for His discipline (or wrath). Either way, we get released of the debt, and God takes theirs: either to the cross or to discipline/judgement. So, in seeking reconciliation, not only are we trying to be reconciled, but we are seeking to remove any ongoing sin being accrued to us. We are clearing ourselves before God, so that we may walk blamelessly.
As a side note, in the cases of abuse, or where we may be harmed, reconciliation may not be possible. We may either cancel the debt if they seek forgiveness, or give it to God for His vengeance. Even if they do ask for forgiveness, and we give it to them, things do not need to go back to how they were before. We can be wise and forgive. We don’t need to act as though we now have an intimate relationship with them or must make ourselves vulnerable. Rather, we can have good boundaries with forgiveness. In cases where they refuse to repent or seek forgiveness, we are released from sin. The guilt then remains on them. I have had to do this before, and it is hard. I so much wanted things to change, but that change never happened. Seeking full reconciliation in that case—without a change in the other party—would have meant that we yield ourselves to more abuses, and thus more unforgiven debt on their part. It would have also likely fostered sin in our own hearts and have been a snare to us. So, in such cases, we can release any resentment or anger to God, who promises to take care of things in His own way. Even though I needed to give them to God, I still love them. Sometimes that is what we need to do to remain faithful, and to prevent us from having a snare of sinful anger.
So, as we pursue peace with others, we will not only be better redeeming the time ourselves, but we will also help others to do the same. We will be those who help unify and edify the church in Christ.
Next time we will be looking at redeeming our entertainments.